Islam, women and the radicles

This article is taken from a thesis written by a Muslim woman who grew up living in Afghanistan.

There is a difference between the dogma taught by the Muslim extremist groups and the teachings by the Prophet Mohammad. Fourteen hundred years ago, Mohammad permitted women to be politically active, to work and mix with men, and they were not required to veil their faces.

As Islamic extremism gained strength throughout the Muslim world, rigid patriarchal religious leaders emphasized Koranic passages removing its clear command giving women equality, justice, and education. For political ends, the Prophet’s intent regarding women is both altered and inappropriately applied. His sympathy for women’s rights is often no longer reflected in the law and practices of modern government.

Because Muslim women are the first to be affected by such changes, their freedoms, or lack thereof, have become a key indicator of the political direction in which such states are moving.

Muslim women who work in the Gulf and Middle Eastern countries often enjoy job benefits and equality more than most women in the western world. Since the 1970s in Iraq for example, a woman’s employment benefits are extensive and include free child care while she is working, and has the right to retire with a full pension after fifteen years of employment.  In virtually all Arab countries, maternity leave with full pay is substantially longer than in the United States and Canada.

Dichotomously, the majority of Muslim women still find their lives controlled by their closest male relatives. They are the daughters whose future marriage partners continue to be determined by their fathers. They are the brides who must be virgins on their wedding nights in a culture where if they are not, honor killings are common and often carried out by the girl’s own brothers.  To guard against this in many cases in the Muslim world, a simple surgical procedure –hymen restoration is performed. Fratricide (kill your own sister) can occur when a young woman refuses to marry a man of her family’s choice. Despite the fact that Islam states that a woman has a right to refuse a husband selected for her. In reality, familial pressures can be so strong; they may result in her death if she refuses.

Bride-price in Muslim countries confirms that a woman is a man’s property. Once married, every aspect of a woman’s life will be dictated by her husband. What she does, who her friends are, where she is permitted to go, how her children are raised, and even whether she may use birth control or be sterilized.  She cannot obtain a passport or travel abroad without his written approval.

If his spouse is not obedient, her husband may take another wife. Husbands are entitled to have four wives. According to Koranic dictates, should a man decide to marry again, he is supposed to obtain his first wife’s permission. He is also required to treat each wife exactly the same, in affection, time spent together, material possessions, and status. In practice, if his first wife doesn’t agree, he gets married anyway. And invariably he favors the newer and younger spouse.

According to the newer version of the Koran published Everyman, “Men are superior to women…”  The Koran 4:34 in most Muslim countries state;

As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and

ill-conduct, first admonish them, then refuse to share

their bed, and last beat them, but then if they return

to obedience, do not seek a way against them.

Radical Islam is not a religious organization. It is a bunch of ruthless criminals with twisted beliefs;

Hindu: The Sacred Syllable Om, Yoga, and Tantra

The word om is recited at the beginning and end of all Hindu and Jain prayers, as well as  used by Buddhists, and recitations of scripture. The word is understood to have three sounds, a-u-m; when the diphthong of a and u is shortened, it yields the sound of o. The sound of the word begins deep within the body and ends at the lips; it is claimed to be auspicious. The history in the Hindu tradition is ancient; the Mandukya Upanisad discusses its meaning and power. Hindu philosophers and sectarian communities all agree that om is the most sacred sound.

However, almost every Hindu community have different speculations about the meaning of om. Some say it represents the supreme reality or Brahman. Many Hindu philosophers believed that this word was at the beginning of the manifest universe and contains the true knowledge. Others say that its three sounds represent the three worlds: earth, atmosphere, and heaven. Still, others say it represents the essence of the three Vedas: Rg, Yajur, and Sama. A few Hindu philosophers derive the word from the Sanskrit verbal root av-, to mean 'that which protects'.

According to the followers of the philosopher Sankara, who are non-dualist interpreters of the Vedanta, suggest the three sounds a,u,m have the following experiential meanings.

* The sound of a stands for the world that we see when we are awake, the person who is experiencing it, and the waking experience.
* U stands for the dream world, the dreamer, and the dream experience.
* M represents the sleep world, the sleeper and the sleep experience.
* These three states we experience on this earth. The fourth, the unspoken syllable, represents the state of liberation.

On the other hand, some Vaisnava devotees say that a represents the lord Visnu, u denotes the human being, and the meaning of m is the relationship between the two. Other Vaisnavas say that they represent Visnu, Sri, and the devotee.

Accordingly, Hindus say that om is the most sacred sound but disagree regarding its meaning. Nevertheless, the sound of om among all Hindu traditions is greater than the sum of its parts, exceeding in significance the many meanings attributed to it. 

Yoga

Yoga entails physical and mental discipline by which one 'yokes' one's spirit to a god. It has been held in high regard in many Hindu texts and has had many meanings in the Hindu tradition. Some scholars point out that seals from the Harappan culture 2600 BC - 1900 BC (today is Northeast Afghanistan to Pakistan and Northeast India) portray a man sitting in a yogic position.

Yoga was an important feature of religious life in India several centuries before the texts were written sometime between 100 BC and 200 AD.

According to Patanjali who codified and presented an accurate version which had already been known suggests, Yoga involves moral, mental, physical discipline and meditation concentrating on a physical or mental object as a 'single point' of focus. This form of yoga is described as having eight 'limbs' or disciplines, of which the first two are yama, consisting of restraints, and niyama,consisting of positive practices.

Yama is the avoidance of violence, falsehood, stealing, sexual activity, and great desire.Interestingly, these prohibitions are included in the 'right conduct' taught by the Jain tradition ( a religion of India founded in the 6th century B.C., it emphasizes asceticism, nonviolence, and reverence for all living things).

Niyama includes cleanliness, equanimity, asceticism, the theoretical study of yoga, and the effort to make God the focus of one's activities. Cleanliness includes internal and external purity; in some forms of yoga, this aspect receives considerable attention.  

Although the theoretical aspects of Patanjali's yoga have had considerable importance in particular times and traditions, its place in the religious life of Hindus in the past 1,000 to 2,000 years has not enjoyed mass popularity over the years, nor has it been mentioned as a path to liberation by many of the religious teachers. 

In the 20th century there was a resurgence of interest in its physical techniques, that only sometimes extends to the underlying psychological and theoretical assumptions of yoga.

In the past century a distinction between two avenues of discipline has been drawn in the use of the terms raja yoga and hatha yoga. Raja yoga deals with mental discipline;occasionally this term is used interchangeably with Patanjali's yoga. Hatha yoga is concerned largely with bodily posture and control over the body. The term hatha is said to be derived from the words for sun (ha) and moon (that), referring to particular patterns of breath control. The human body is said to have 'suns' and 'moons' within it; final liberation can be attained only after different centres in the body are brought into harmony with the cosmos. This form of yoga is what has become popular in western countries.

Tantra

The tantric tradition advocated its own form of yoga, known as kundalini yoga. Kundalini (literally, 'the one with earrings') refers to the sakti or power of the Goddess, which is said to lie coiled like a serpent at the base of one's spine. When awakened, this power rises through the channel passing though six cakras or 'wheels' to reach the final centre located under the skull. This centre is known as a thousand-petalled lotus.  

The ultimate aim of this form of yoga is to awaken the power of the kundalini and make it unite with Purusa, the male supreme being, who is the thousand-petalled lotus. With this union, the practitioner is granted several visions and given psychic powers. The union leads eventually to final emancipation. 

There are many ways of looking at tantric materials. The best-known division is between the vamacara (left-handed practice) and the right-handed or more conservative school. As the left hand is associated with the inauspicious in the Hindu tradition, 'left-handed' was applied to sectarian movements that did not meet with the approval of the other larger or more established schools. The practices of the left-handed schools' involved ritual performance of activities forbidden in everyday life, such as drinking liquor, eating fish and meat, and having sexual intercourse with a partner not one's spouse. These activities were disapproved of in many other Hindu circles, so that to a large extent left-handed tantrism remained esoteric. 

One may also see divisions in tantra along the sectarian lines of Saiva, Sakia, and Vaisnava, each with its own canon of texts called tantras. 

The texts may also be classified into those intended for temple worship and those that are about individual rites at home. 

Common myths about rape

The most destructive myths about rape have cast women in the role of being responsible for the rapist’s act. According to this view, women secretly “want” to be raped and really enjoy the experience.  This nonsensical notion has led at least one rapist to give his name and phone number to his victim so she could “get together” with him again. His stupidity led to his immediate arrest. Lurking beneath the surface of this myth are some commonly held misconceptions: women find overpowering men irresistible; women’s rape fantasies indicated a real-life sexual desire; and women dress and act provocatively to “turn on” men, who somehow are the hapless victims of their own reactions to this deliberate provocation.

Closely allied to this view of the woman as instigator is the idea that “she was asking for it, and she got what she deserved. “ According to Susan Brownmiller, a feminist journalist and author of a book Against Our Will, offers an explanation of rape:

The popularity of the belief that a woman seduces or “c--k-teases” a man into rape by incautious behavior, is part of the smoke screen that men throw up to obscure their actions. The insecurity of women runs so deep that many, possibly most, rape victims agonize afterward in an effort to uncover what it was in their behavior, their manner, their dress that triggered this awful act against them.

 Most research shows that rapists look for targets they see as vulnerable (e.g. women walking by themselves, appear unfamiliar with where they are) rather than women who are dressed in a certain way or who have a particular manner of appearance.  The “provocation myth loses its credibility when it is recognized that many rape victims are elderly women or young children. Furthermore, it is a little like believing people should dress in old, worn-out cloths in order to prevent having your purse being snatched, thus misplacing responsibility from the criminal to the victim.

Rape Patterns

Forcible rape is the most common form of rape reported. Here, the act of penile penetration is achieved by force or the threat of force. Several subcategories of forcible rape can be distinguished, although most of these are not legally defined terms. 

Date and Acquaintance Rape

A survey of acquaintance rape at 32 different colleges showed that one out of ten women had been raped in the previous year, and one in six had been the victim of an attempted rape. Fifty-seven percent of the actual rapes occurred on dates, and in 84 percent of the cases, the victims knew their assailant. Other studies suggest that women are four times more likely to be raped by someone they know than by a stranger.

Men who commit rape

There has not been much research on men who commit date rape. Some seem to be driven by a traditional view of the male’s role as sexual aggressor, which leads them to misinterpret cues (even direct, verbal statements) from the woman. Others are simply intent on “scoring,” believing that male-female relations are a sort of game and that the woman “owes” them sex.

Male attitudes about women and rape are slowly changing to a more understanding nature, but there are still some men who see women as sex objects. Much more education is needed to understand sexual rights and the impact rape has on the individual.      

Suicide Warning Signs

Individual motives for suicide vary and not all victims use the same approach for ending their life. However, there are some common warning signs.

Suicides seldom occur without warning. If you are aware of common signs and of changes in behavior, you can recognize and better help a person in crisis. These signs represent behaviours that can serve as a warning sign. The warning signs are usually physical, emotional, and behavioral in nature:

*Neglect of personal appearance

*Sudden changes in manner of dress, especially when the new style is completely out of character

*Chronic or unexplained illness aches and pains.

*Sudden weight gain or loss.

*Sudden change in appetite.

Emotional clues

*Sense of hopelessness, helplessness, or futility.

*Inability to enjoy or appreciate friendships.

*Wide mood changes and sudden outbursts.

*Anxiousness, extreme tension and agitation.

*Lethargy or tiredness.

*Changes in personality, from outgoing to withdrawn, from polite to rude, from complaint to rebellious, from well behaved to “acting out.”

*Loss of the ability to concentrate, daydreaming.

*Depression, sadness.

*Loss of rational thought

*Feelings of guilt and failure.

*Self-destructive thoughts

*Exaggerated fears of cancer, AIDS, or physical impairment

*Feelings of worthlessness or of being a burden

*Loss of enjoyment from activities formerly enjoyed

Behavioral Signs

*Decreased school activity, isolation. Sudden drop in achievement and interest in school subjects

*Loss of interest in hobbies, or sports, work, etc.

*Unexplained use of alcohol or other drugs

*Withdrawal from family and former friends, sometimes acting in a manner which forces others away

*Changing in eating and/or sleeping habits.

*Changes in friendship

*Running away from home, “skipping school.”

*Accident proneness and increase in risk-taking behavior such as careless driving, bike accidents, dangerous use of firearms.

*Sexual promiscuity

*Giving away prized possessions (e.g. CD collection).

*Preoccupation with thoughts of death.

*Sudden changes in personality

*Making a will, writing poetry or stories about suicide or death

*Quietly rutting affairs in order, “taking care of business.”

*Threatening suicide.

*Hoarding pills, hiding weapons, describing methods for committing suicide.

*Previous suicide attempts.

While all of these signs may indicate that a person is experiencing problems, the last five behavioral signs are especially significant because these signs indicate that a decision to complete suicide may have been made. A previous attempt is a particularly important sign. Such an attempt increases the risk of future ones. In any of the signs the key word is CHANGE.

The symptoms of depression, including the list of “acting out” behaviors and the common warning signs for suicide are very similar. Together they provide ways to recognize a person at risk.   

Depression in children and teens

Depression is a mood disorder that can take the joy from a child’s life. It is normal for a child to be moody or sad from time to time. These feelings are expected after the death of pet or a move to a new city. But if these feelings last for weeks or months, they may be a sign of depression which requires professional help.

A common belief was that only adults could get depression. There is evidence that show even a young child can have depression that needs treatment to improve. According to the latest information on WebMD, as many as 2 out of 100 young children and 8 out of 100 teens have serious depression.

Nevertheless, children don’t get the treatment they need.  This is partly because it can be difficult to tell the difference between depression and normal moodiness. Also, depression may not look the same in a child as in an adult.  

You can learn more about the symptoms in children if you talk to your child. Ask how he or she is feeling. If you think your child is depressed, talk to your doctor or counselor. The sooner a child gets help, the sooner he or she will feel better.

A sign of depression in a child includes;

- feeling irritable, sad, withdrawn, or bored most of the time

-Does not take pleasure in things he or she used to enjoy

A child who is depressed may also ;

-Lose or gain weight

-Sleep too much or too little

-Feel hopeless, worthless, or guilty

-Have trouble concentrating, thinking, or making decisions

-Think about death or suicide a lot.

The symptoms are often overlooked at first because the problems and the symptoms are all part of the same problem. Also, the symptoms may be different depending on the age of the child.

Both pre-school and grade school children may lack energy and become withdrawn. They may show little emotion, seem to feel hopeless, and have trouble sleeping. Often they will lose interest in friends and activities they liked before. They may comp-lain of headaches or stomach aches. A child may also be more anxious or clingy with caregivers.

Teens may sleep a lot or speak more slowly than usual. Some teens and children with severe depression may see or hear things that aren't there or have false beliefs.

Depression can range from mild to severe. A child who feels a little “down”  most of the time for a year or more may have a milder ongoing form of depression called dysthymia. In its most severe form depression can cause a child to lose hope and want to die.

What parents need to know about pediatric depression

Depression is a real illness that affects both adults and children. It can affect kids as young as 3 years old. It can even affect babies who tend to exhibit symptoms such as unresponsiveness, lethargy, inconsolable crying and feeding problems (Deborah Serani, PsyD).

Developmental mile stones 1 – 3 months

Every child is different, and so is every parent’s experience, but experts have a clear idea about the range of development from birth to age 5 – and signs that a child might have a developmental delay.

Milestones at one month

-         *Makes jerky, quivering arm thrusts

-         *Brings hands within  range of eyes and mouth

-         *Moves head from side to side while lying on stomach

-         *Head flops backward if unsupported

-         *Keeps hands in tight fists

-         *Strong reflex movements

Visual and Hearing Milestones

-         *Focuses 8 to 12 inches (20.3 to 30.4 cm) away

-         *Eyes wonder and occasionally cross

-        * Prefers black and white or high-contrast patterns

-         *Prefers the human face to all other patterns

-        * Hearing is fully mature

-         *Recognize some sounds

-        * May turn toward familiar sounds and voices

Smell and Touch Milestones

-         *Prefers sweet smells

-         *Avoid bitter or acidic smells

-         *Recognizes the smell of his own mother’s breast milk

-        * Prefers soft to coarse sensations

-         *Dislike rough or abrupt handling

Developmental Health Watch

If during the second, third or fourth weeks of your baby’s life there are are signs of developmental delays, notify your pediatrician.

-        * Sucks poorly and feeds slowly

-         *Doesn't blink when shown a bright light

-        * Doesn't focus and follow a nearby object moving side to side

-        * Rarely moves arms and legs, seems stiff

-         *Seems excessively loose in the limbs, or floppy

-        * Lower jaw trembles constantly, even when not crying or excited

-         *Doesn't respond to loud sounds

Milestones at 3 months

Movement Milestones

-         Raises head and chest when lying on stomach

-         Supports upper body with arms when lying on stomach

-         Stretches legs out and kicks when lying on stomach or back

-         Opens and shuts hands

-         Pushes down on legs when feet are placed on a firm surface

-         Brings hand to mouth

-         Takes swipes at dangling objects with hands

-         Grasps and shakes hand toys

Visual and Hearing Milestones

-         Watches faces intently

-         Follows moving objects

-         Recognizes familiar objects and people at a distance

-         Starts using hands and eyes in coordination

-         Smiles at the sound of your voice

-         Begins to babble

-         Begins to initiate some sounds

-         Turns head toward direction of sound

Social and Emotional Milestones

-         Begins to develop a social smile

-         Enjoys playing with other people and may cry when playing stops

-         Becomes more communicative and expressive with face and body

-         Initiates some movements and facial expressions

Developmental Health Watch

Although each baby develops in his/her own individual rate, failure to reach certain milestones may signal medical or developmental problems requiring special attention. If you notice any of the following warning signs in your infant at this age, discuss them with your pediatrician.

-         *Doesn't seem to respond to loud sounds

-         *Doesn't notice his/her hands by 2 months

-         *Doesn't smile at the sound of your voice by two months

-         *Doesn't follow moving objects with his/her eyes after two or three months

-         *Doesn't grasp and hold objects by three months

-         *Doesn't smile at people by three months

-         Cannot support his/her head well at three months

-         *Doesn't reach for and grasp toys by three or four months

-         *Doesn't babble by three or four months

-         *Doesn't bring objects to his/her mouth by four months

-         *Begins babbling, but doesn't try to imitate any of your sounds by four months

-         *Has trouble moving one or both eyes in all directions

-        * Crosses his/her eyes most of the time (occasional crossing of the eyes is normal in these first months)

-         *Doesn't pay attention to new faces, or seemed very frightened by new faces or surroundings

 

The difference between sadness and depression

Feeling sad on occasion is a normal human emotion. But if emptiness and despair won’t go away, you may have depression. Depression makes it difficult to function and enjoy life.  Just getting through the day can be overwhelming. Understanding the signs, symptoms, causes, and treatment of depression is the first step to overcoming the problem.

Sadness in mood, setbacks, and disappointments are all normal reactions to life’s struggles, but depression is much more than sadness.

Some people describe depression as “living in a black hole” or having a feeling of impending doom. On the other hand, some depressed people don’t feel sad at all. Instead, they may feel lifeless, empty and apathetic; men in particular may feel angry, aggressive and restless.

Depression is different from normal sadness in that it engulfs your day-to-day life, interfering with your ability to work, study, eat, sleep, and have fun. The feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and worthlessness are intense and unrelenting, with little or no relief.

You may be suffering from clinical depression if you experience several of these symptoms that will not go away.

-You can’t sleep or you sleep too much

-You can’t concentrate or find that previously easy tasks are now too difficult

-You feel hopeless and helpless

-You can’t control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try

-You have lost your appetite or you can’t stop eating

-You are much more irritable, short tempered, or aggressive than usual

-You are consuming more alcohol than normal, or engaging in other reckless behavior

-You have thoughts that life is not worth living (seek help immediately if this is the case).

Depression varies from person to person, but there are some common signs and symptoms. It’s important to remember that these symptoms can be part of life’s normal lows. But the more symptoms you have, the stronger they are, and the longer they last – the more likely you are dealing with depression. When these symptoms are overwhelming and disabling, that’s when it’s time to seek help.

Signs and symptoms of Depression

  Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A feeling that nothing will ever get better and there is nothing you can do to improve your situation.

· Loss of interest in daily activities. No interest in former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex. You lost your ability to feel enjoy and pleasure.

·Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight loss or weight gain. In most cases, a change of more than 5% body weight in a month.

· Sleep changes. Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping.

· Angry or irritability. Feeling agitated, restless or violent. Your tolerance level is low, your temper short, and everything and everyone gets on your nerves.

· Loss of Energy. Feeling fatigued, sluggish, and physically drained. Your whole body may feel heavy and even small tasks are exhausting or take longer to complete.

  Self-loathing. Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. You harshly criticize yourself for perceived faults and mistakes.

· Reckless behavior. You engage in escapist behavior such as substance abuse, compulsive gambling, reckless driving, or sometimes dangerous sports.

·Concentration problems. Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.

 Unexplained aches and pains. An increase in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles, and stomach pain.

Depression and suicide

Depression is a major risk factor for suicide. The deep despair and hopelessness that goes along with depression can make suicide feel like the only way to escape the pain. Thoughts of death or suicide are a serious symptom of depression. Take any suicidal talk or behavior seriously. It’s not just a warning sign that the person is thinking about suicide, it’s a cry for help.

Warning signs of suicide

·        * Talking about killing or harming one’s self

·         *Expressing strong feelings of hopelessness or feeling trapped

·        * An unusual preoccupation with death or dying

·         *Acting recklessly, as if they have a death wish ( i.e. speeding through red lights).

·         *Calling or visiting people to say goodbye

·         *Getting affairs in order (giving away prized positions, tying up loose ends)

·         *Saying things like “Everyone would be better off without me” or “I want out”

·         *A sudden switch from being extremely depressed to acting calm and happy.

If you think a friend or family member is considering suicide, express your concern and seek professional help immediately. Talking openly about suicidal thoughts and feelings can save a life. In Vancouver call 604-872-3311 or outside Vancouver 1-800-SUICIDE  

Depression in men

Depressed men are less likely than women to acknowledge feelings of self-loathing and helplessness. Instead they tend to complain about fatigue, irritability, sleep problems, and loss of interest in work and hobbies. Other signs and symptoms of depression include anger, aggression, violence, reckless behavior, and substance abuse. Even though depression rates for women are twice as high as those in men, men are a higher suicide risk, especially older men.

Depression in women

Rates of depression in women are twice as high as they are in men. This is due in part to hormonal factors particularly when it comes to premenstrual syndrome (PMS), premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), postpartum depression, and perimenopausal depression. Women are more likely than men to experience pronounced feelings of guilt, sleep excessively, overeat and gain weight. Women are also more likely to suffer from seasonal affective disorder

Depression in teens

Some depressed teens appear sad, while others do not. Irritability rather than depression is frequently the predominant in depressed adolescents and teens. A depressed teenager may be hostile, grumpy, or easily loose his or her temper. Unexplained aches and pains are also common symptoms of depression in young people.

Left untreated, teen depression can lead to problems at home and school, drug abuse, self-loathing, and in certain cases, homicidal violence and suicide. With help, teenage depression is highly treatable.

Depression in older adults

The difficult changes that older adults face include bereavement, loss of independence, and health problems – can lead to depression. However, depression is not a normal part of aging. Older adults tend to complain more about the physical rather than the emotional signs and symptoms of depression which may cause the symptoms to be unrecognized. Depression in older adults is associated with poor health, a high mortality rate, and increased risk of suicide. Diagnosis and treatment are very important.