Even though it must be said that "love makes the world go round," few sexologists have addressed this subject in any detail. Nevertheless, we have felt love in one way or another. Many of us have dreamed of it, struggled with it, or basked in its pleasures. It is also safe to say that most of us have been confused by it. This article will focus on the complicated relationships between love, sex, and marriage in an effort to reduce at least some of this confusion.
Trying to define love is a difficult task. Besides loving a spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend, people can love their children , parents, siblings, pets, or country, as well as rainbows, chocolates, or a sports team. Although the English language has only one word to apply to each of these situations, there are clearly different meanings involved.
When we talk about person-to-person love, A simple definition is: "Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." This is certainly the love that Shakespeare described in Romeo and Juliet, in music that popular singers celebrate, and led Edward VIII, the King of England, to marry the woman in his life.
Edward VIII
In any type of love, the element of caring about the loved person is essential. Unless genuine caring is present, what looks like love may be just one form of desire. For example, a teenage boy may tell his girlfriend "I love you" just to convince her to have sex with her. In other cases, the desire to gain wealth, status, or power may lead to a person to pretend to love someone to reach these goals.
Because sexual desire and love may both be passionate and all-consuming, it may be difficult to distinguish between them in terms of intensity. The key feature is the substance behind the feeling. Generally, sexual desire is narrowly focused and easily discharged. On the other hand, love is a more complex and constant emotion. In pure unadulterated sexual desire, the elements of caring and respect are minimal, perhaps present as an afterthought, but not a central part of the feeling. The desire to know the other person is defined in only a physical or sensual way, not in a spiritual one. The end is easily satisfied. When love may include a passionate yearning for sexual union, respect for the loved one is a primary concern. Without respect and caring, our attraction for another person can only be an imitation of love. Respect allows us to value a loved one's identity and integrity and thus prevents us from selfishly exploiting them. According to one theory, people can achieve a meaningful type of love only if they have first reached a state of self-realization (being secure in one's own identity). The respect inherent in all love, is that a lover must feel, I want the loved person to grow and unfold for his/her own sake, and in their own ways, and not for the purpose of serving me."
However, love itself, can be a way of attaining self-realization. People have a great capacity to learn about themselves from a love relationship, although love cannot be a substitute for personal identity.
When respect and caring are missing from a love relationship, the relationship serves the same needs that can lead people to abuse of alcohol. drugs, or addiction. The resulting "love" is really a dependency relationship.
When a person goes to another with the aim of filling a personal void in himself or herself, the relationship quickly becomes the center of his/her life. It offers solace that contrasts sharply with what he/she finds everywhere else, so the individual returns to it more and more until his/her needs are required each day to cope with otherwise a stressful and unpleasant existence.
When a constant exposure to something is necessary in order to make life bearable, an addiction has been brought about, The ever-present danger of withdrawal creates an ever-present craving.
In reality there is not only one "right" way to love. Nor are all love relationships perfect unions we'd like them to be. Some relationships are exploitive, desperate, or simply unfulfilling. It is often difficult to draw a line between liking and loving. Although various researchers have tried to measure love not everyone agrees on whether love is a distinct separate entity. Some scientists believe that "the only real difference between liking and loving is the depth of our feelings and the degree of our involvement with the other person." On the other hand, it's been observed that "it seems quite clear that more and more liking for another person does not, in the end, lead to romantic love; more and more liking just leads to a lot of liking. " Liking and loving, while interrelated, are distinct phenomena.
Trying to define love is a difficult task. Besides loving a spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend, people can love their children , parents, siblings, pets, or country, as well as rainbows, chocolates, or a sports team. Although the English language has only one word to apply to each of these situations, there are clearly different meanings involved.
When we talk about person-to-person love, A simple definition is: "Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." This is certainly the love that Shakespeare described in Romeo and Juliet, in music that popular singers celebrate, and led Edward VIII, the King of England, to marry the woman in his life.
In any type of love, the element of caring about the loved person is essential. Unless genuine caring is present, what looks like love may be just one form of desire. For example, a teenage boy may tell his girlfriend "I love you" just to convince her to have sex with her. In other cases, the desire to gain wealth, status, or power may lead to a person to pretend to love someone to reach these goals.
Because sexual desire and love may both be passionate and all-consuming, it may be difficult to distinguish between them in terms of intensity. The key feature is the substance behind the feeling. Generally, sexual desire is narrowly focused and easily discharged. On the other hand, love is a more complex and constant emotion. In pure unadulterated sexual desire, the elements of caring and respect are minimal, perhaps present as an afterthought, but not a central part of the feeling. The desire to know the other person is defined in only a physical or sensual way, not in a spiritual one. The end is easily satisfied. When love may include a passionate yearning for sexual union, respect for the loved one is a primary concern. Without respect and caring, our attraction for another person can only be an imitation of love. Respect allows us to value a loved one's identity and integrity and thus prevents us from selfishly exploiting them. According to one theory, people can achieve a meaningful type of love only if they have first reached a state of self-realization (being secure in one's own identity). The respect inherent in all love, is that a lover must feel, I want the loved person to grow and unfold for his/her own sake, and in their own ways, and not for the purpose of serving me."
However, love itself, can be a way of attaining self-realization. People have a great capacity to learn about themselves from a love relationship, although love cannot be a substitute for personal identity.
When respect and caring are missing from a love relationship, the relationship serves the same needs that can lead people to abuse of alcohol. drugs, or addiction. The resulting "love" is really a dependency relationship.
When a person goes to another with the aim of filling a personal void in himself or herself, the relationship quickly becomes the center of his/her life. It offers solace that contrasts sharply with what he/she finds everywhere else, so the individual returns to it more and more until his/her needs are required each day to cope with otherwise a stressful and unpleasant existence.
When a constant exposure to something is necessary in order to make life bearable, an addiction has been brought about, The ever-present danger of withdrawal creates an ever-present craving.
In reality there is not only one "right" way to love. Nor are all love relationships perfect unions we'd like them to be. Some relationships are exploitive, desperate, or simply unfulfilling. It is often difficult to draw a line between liking and loving. Although various researchers have tried to measure love not everyone agrees on whether love is a distinct separate entity. Some scientists believe that "the only real difference between liking and loving is the depth of our feelings and the degree of our involvement with the other person." On the other hand, it's been observed that "it seems quite clear that more and more liking for another person does not, in the end, lead to romantic love; more and more liking just leads to a lot of liking. " Liking and loving, while interrelated, are distinct phenomena.
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