Second stage recovery from addiction.

The second stage of recovery from using drugs, after realizing you need help, is called the transition stage.  The transition begins with the downward spiral at the end of the drinking, and/or drug using stage. It includes the acute trauma of “hitting bottom” which may include being violently ill, tremors, restlessness, and hallucinations.  This continues into the earliest steps of abstinence and recovery. In the transition stage, family dynamics are changing almost constantly, which can make it the most traumatic stage in recovery.

Alcoholism

Although active alcoholism is unstable and dangerous, there is the illusion of structure. The family members have had time to grow used to the unhealthy family system. The alcoholic family is cushioned from much of their pain by denial, which allows them to endure recurring hardships. During transition, however, denial starts to crack, and the reality that was kept at bay now begins to intrude into the family’s perceptions. What was accepted as normal is revealed to be unhealthy, and the small comforts that the family members created for themselves are shown to be illusions. Each member is torn between the painful light of the "comforting” darkness of denial.

In the transition stage of recovery, the habitual system of substance use collapses while the family desperately tries to keep the family unity in place. The family members want to save this crumbling structure because throughout the addict’s using stage each individual’s entire focus  has been to keep the dysfunctional system in place at the cost of their own wants and needs (e.g. avoiding conflicts with the addict, keeping the peace, and avoiding other people).

However, in order to survive the chaos of transition, each member must go against their instincts and let the system fall. Each must reach outside the family for help and support; this is also painful, since each individual has to overcome the deep belief that reaching out is a betrayal of the family.

Because of the heightened and ongoing state of crisis that characterizes the transition stage, a map can be a vital tool for surviving the journey through the treacherous landscape.

Recovery is a slow process that demands a lot of faith and patience. Things often get worse before they get better, and it’s crucial that you are able to make it through. In reality, pain and discomfort in the recovery process is part of the healing process but difficult steps along the path to recovery.

It’s important to understand why, even though you just made a change for the better, life suddenly got a whole lot worse.

Active use of alcohol and/or other substances demands that family members maintain a subtle balance between denial (the behaviour is only bad once-in-awhile, and I can make him/her change over time) and reality (you can’t make another person change). As long as the behaviour stays within its acceptable limits, the denial can grow with it. This balance can remain in place for a long time.

Nevertheless, when there is a break in the normal course of events - whether from an external cause like driving under the influence, or accident, or internal cause like a family member moving out – the balance is lost and the cracks start to form in the denial.

Since recovery is a developmental process, each stage has a number of tasks that must be fulfilled before you can move on to the next stage. The following are the tasks of the transitional stage:

*Break denial.

*Begin to challenge your core beliefs.

*Realize that family life is out of control.

*Hit bottom and surrender.

*Accept the reality that you have addiction problems and the loss of control.

*Enlist supports outside the family (community self-help groups, therapy).

*Shift focus from the system of support groups to individuals who begin detachment from groups and use individual recovery.

*Allow the addiction system to collapse.

*Learn new abstinent behaviours and thinking.

Healthy growth is about discovering your inner spirit and finding your own individual path. This can only be done by listening to yourself. Patience is the key. You will get there in time, but you can only reconnect with others after you have taken responsibility for your own life.

The journey does not always seem to be moving forward but the work continues. In mountain climbing, you often have a hammer in a lot of ropes to move up to the next plateau. In great measure, the days are spent hanging ropes, while at night you return to the base camp – but not the bottom of the mountain – to sleep. One day the ropes reach the next plateau, and you pack up your camp and climb the ropes, pulling them up behind you. When you reach the plateau you set up your new camp, and the next day the climb continues from that higher plateau. So goes recovery: even the days spend apparently going nowhere are crucial parts of the journey.   

The Dominican and Franciscan Orders (History with good intent)

Dominic, the father of the Dominican order, was the founder of the Inquisition and the first Inquisitor-General that had become part of the Roman tradition. This was confirmed by historians of the Order, and by quoting a bull of Innocent III appointing him Inquisitor-General. However, no tradition of the Church rests on a single and narrow basis. There is no doubt that Dominic devoted the best years of his life combating heresy, and when a heretic was deaf to persuasion, he would cheerfully stand by the pyre and see him burned, like any other Zealous missionary of the time; in this he was no more prominent than hundreds of others. Furthermore, he had nothing to do with the organized work in this direction. From the year 1215, when he laid the foundation of his Order, he was engrossed in it to the exclusion of all other objects, and was obliged to forego his cherished design of ending his days as a missionary to Persia. It was not until more than ten years after his death that such an institution as the papal Inquisition can be said to have existed.

                                                                                                    
                                         St. Dominic founder of the Dominican Order

A similar legendary halo exaggerates the exclusive glory, claimed by the Order, of organizing and perfecting the Inquisition. The bulls of Gregory IX alleged in support of the assertion are simply special orders of individual Dominican provincials to give authority to their brethren who were naturally suited for the purpose to the duty of preaching against heresy, and examining heretics and prosecuting their defenders.

The fact is that there was no formal confiding of the Inquisition to the Dominicans any more than there was any formal founding of the Inquisition itself. As the institution gradually assumed shape and organization in the effort to find some effectual means to force heretics out from hiding, the Dominicans were the readiest instrument at hand, especially as they professed the functions of preaching and converting as their primary business. As conversion became less, the object and persecution became the main business of the Inquisition, the Franciscans were equally useful, and the honours of the organization were divided between them.

                              St. Francis founder of the Franciscans

Still, the earliest inquisitors were unquestionably Dominicans. After the settlement, between Raymond of Toulouse and St. Louis, the removal of heresy in the Albigensian territories was seriously undertaken. The Dominicans were sent for to work under the direction of the bishops. In northern France the business gradually fell almost exclusively into their hand. In Aragon, as early as 1232, they were recommended to the Archbishop of Tarragona as fitting instruments for the Inquisition, and in April 1238, Gregory IX appointed the provincials of the Dominicans as inquisitors for the kingdom, and by 1249 the institution was entrusted to them.

                                                       Gregory IX

Eventually, southern France was divided between them and the Franciscans. The western portion was given to the Dominicans and the remainder was under the charge of the Franciscans. In 1254, Italy was formally divided between the Dominicans and Franciscans by Innocent IV. However, the boundaries of their respective jurisdictions caused early hatred and mutual rivalry between the two which led to perpetual scandal and danger to the Church. So strong was the hostility between the two Orders that Clement IV established the rule that there should be a distance of at least 3,000 feet between their respective possessions - “a regulation which only led to new and more intricate disputes.” 

                                                   Pope Clement IV
These two religious groups of the Mendicant Orders undoubtedly aided in postponing a revolution for which the world was not ready. Though the self-denial of their earlier days was too rear and destructive to be preserved, they soon committed acts that were a common part of the social order around them.  Yet their work had not been altogether lost. They had brought afresh to human minds some of the forgotten truths of the Gospel, and had taught them to view their duties to their fellows from a higher plane.

How well they recognized and appreciated their own service is shown by the story, common to the legend of both Orders. It tells that while the founders Dominic and Francis were waiting the approval of Innocent III, a holy man had a vision in which he saw Christ brandishing three darts with which to destroy the world, and the Virgin inquiring his purpose. Then said Christ, “This world is full of pride, avarice, and lust; I have borne with it too long, and with these darts will I consume it.” The Virgin fell on her knees and interceded for man, but in vain, until she revealed to him that she had two faithful servants who would reduce it to his dominion. Then Christ desired to see the champions; she showed him Dominic and Francis, and he was content. The pious author of the story could hardly have foreseen in 1627 Urban VIII would be obliged to deprive the Friars of their dearly prized immunity, and to subject them to episcopal jurisdiction, in the hope of restraining them from seducing their spiritual daughters in the confessional (The Inquisition of the Middle Ages, p.142)
 Innocent III           Urban VIII

Cultural underpinnings of sex victimology

We live in a society that trains and encourages females to be victims of sexual coercion and males to victimize females. In addition, it has important implications for what must be done to prevent sex victimization in its many forms.
Females are generally socialized to be passive and dependent while males are programmed to be independent and aggressive. This fundamental difference lies at the heart of sex victimization, which is primarily an act of power and control.
Most families are generally given the job of socializing children to fill prescribed gender roles and thus supply the needs of a power society…Ingrained in our present family system is the nucleus of male power and domination, No matter how often we witness the devastatingly harmful effects of this arrangement on women and children, the victims are always asked to uphold the family values and submit to abuse.
The teenage boy is quick to learn that he is expected to be the sexual aggressor. For him, it is acceptable – even “manly” – to use persuasion or trickery to seduce his prey. He is also taught (by our society, if not in his home) that females do not really know what they want, that when they say “no” they mean “maybe” they mean “yes.” He may also have heard a bit of male myths that says – in reference to some unhappy female – “what she needs is a good lay.” Given this background, it’s not surprising that what men see as being an “active, aggressive (and desirable) lover” may quickly be transformed into sexual assault in its various forms.
Most women have been taught as children not only to be passive (nice, polite, lady-like) but also to be seductive and coy. They are usually not trained to deal with physical aggression (unlike boys, whose play activities develop this capacity) but are trained to deal with sexual situations in a way that is shy, modest or reserved.  Thus the female in a situation of sexual coercion is ill prepared to act against sexual aggression. Faced with a physical threat, she often becomes psychologically paralyzed. Faced with unwanted sexual demands, and social expectations, she is likely to question what it is about her manner, dress, or behaviour that produced the attention: she blames herself and feels guilt instead of taking more positive action. This hesitancy is frequently misread, or ignored by the male, who sees it as a sign of weakness and a chance that she will give in. His past experience may prove him right: how many women “give in” in various undesired sexual situations is not known.
There are no perfect solutions that can wipe out sexual coercion, but a significant part of the problem can be addressed in two fundamental ways. First and foremost, as this discussion implies, is to change traditional gender-role socialization that puts females in the position of being vulnerable to sexual abuse. Second, in-depth attention is required to identify the conditions that push men into the “victimizer” role. Only when a clear understanding of the causes and motivations underlying coercive sex is at hand will it be possible to develop effective strategies for dealing with this problem on a large scale basis. 
In an essay titled “Raising Girls for the 21^st Century,” Emilie Buchwald (1993) makes the following suggestions for helping girls learn to know their strengths.

1.      Tell your daughters what helped you to survive growing up.
2.      Give girls your attention and approval.
3.      Teach girls to be independent.
4.      Encourage fathers to be active allies in remaking the culture.
5.      Teach girls at an early age about their bodies and their sexuality; replace sexual ignorance (and gender-linked stereotypes) with sexual knowledge, including specific facts about sexual harassment and other forms of sexual coercion.
6.      Let girls recognize that they can be part of changing our culture, and that cultures can in fact change.
7.      Enlist women mentors and role models.
8.      Find ways for girls to empower themselves through athletics and learning to play together.
9.      Teach girls to be media critical in order to avoid the undercurrent of endorsements of sexual violence in today’s movies and television.
10.  Avoid reinforcing gender stereotypes.
11.  Encourage girls to feel happy with themselves.


Boys can be taught different sexual values and attitudes if we protect them from violent entertainment (or at least help them see how the violence in our media is not an endorsement of what should happen in real life) and teach them, from childhood on, to view themselves as future nurturing, nonviolent responsible fathers.

As long as our culture enforces gender-role stereotypes that train females to be sexual victims and program males to see sexual aggression as “manly,” we will continue to have problems with sexual coercion in its many forms.

A look at the rapist

Learning about dangerous sex offenders depends almost exclusively on studies of those who have been convicted. The information obtained from these studies cannot be applied to all dangerous sex offenders because those who are less intelligent and less affluent are most likely to be arrested and found guilty, whereas offenders, who are affluent, are less likely to be reported and brought to justice.

Convicted violent sex offenders are not all alike. Their motivations for raping, and their methods   of finding a victim varies.

One of the key advances in studying violent sex offenders has been the realization that sex offenders are not oversexed men and that rape is usually an expression of power or anger, and not an act of sexual desire. In most cases the aggressive components are so predominant that the sexuality of the act is missing.

Forcible rape can be classified as either power rape or anger rape. None of the rape cases showed sex as the dominant motive. In power rape, the offender tries to intimidate his victim by using a weapon, physical force, and threats of bodily harm. He is usually awkward  in interpersonal relationships and feels inadequate as a person. Rape becomes a way for him to reassure himself about his strength, identity, and sexual adequacy.

In anger rape, the rapist brutalizes his victim and expressage rage and hatred by physical assault and verbal abuse. The motive behind this type of rape is often revenge and punishment against women in general and not the victim specifically. The anger rapist usually gets little or no sexually satisfaction from the rape and may have difficulty getting an erection.

Other forms of sexual assault include partner rape, spousal rape, date rape, incest, child pornography and sex rings, and sexual harassment at work.

Summary, boys can be taught different sexual values and attitudes if we protect them from violent entertainment (or at least help them see how the violence in our media is not an endorsement of what should happen in real life) and teach them, from childhood, to view themselves as future nurturing, nonviolent, responsible fathers.

In the final analysis, the process of changing our society’s attitudes toward sexual violence is not simple and will not happen quickly. But we are now in the process of recognizing the dimensions of the problem more acutely than we have in the past, which is the necessary first step along the way.

Rape will not stop until both men and women are allowed our full humanity. It is difficult , if not impossible, to harm another whom one perceives as equally human. The violence that comes from bias, hatred, and inequality can change when we figure out how to relate to one another as equals…

A look at cocaine

Cocaine is a naturally occurring substance produced by the coca plant. It is consumed in several preparations (e.g. coca leaves, coca paste, cocaine hydrochloride, and cocaine alkaloids such as freebase and crack) that differ in potency due to varying levels of purity and speed of onset. It also has vasoconstrictive properties, closing down tiny blood vessels in the area of injection. As a result, users must constantly find new locations on the body to inject the drug.  

Cocaine cannot be absorbed through unbroken skin but it can easily be absorbed through tissues such as the mucus membranes of the nasal passages and through the eye. It is particularly well absorbed through the vascular bed of the lungs when it is smoked and inhaled.

Solvents used in the preparation of coca paste often contaminate the paste and may cause toxic effects in the central nervous system and other organ systems when the paste is smoked. Cocaine hydrochloride powder is usually “snorted” through the nostrils (“snorting”) or dissolved in water and injected intravenously. It is sometimes mixed with heroin, yielding a drug combination known as a “speedball.”

When abused, cocaine is a powerful central nervous system stimulant. It depresses the inhibitory neuronal pathways, causing euphoria, restlessness, and excitement. It acts centrally on the nervous system and causes an increased heart and respiratory rate (followed by a decrease), as well as a rapid rise in blood pressure.

Cocaine abusers may experience anxiety, insomnia, anorexia, weight loss, hyperactivity, paranoia, and euphoria. When abusers stop using cocaine, they may suffer an extreme emotional rebound, and may become depressed and suicidal.

With low doses of cocaine there may be an increase of motor activity, and high doses results in lack of coordination. Very high doses may result in tremor, lack of coordination, and death. The immediate cause of death from cocaine is respiratory and cardiac arrest.

A common used form of cocaine is “crack” or “rock,” a cocaine alkaloid that is extracted from its powdered hydrochloride salt by mixing it with sodium bicarbonate and allowing it to dry into small “rocks.” These small pieces can be smoked, either by combining them with tobacco or marijuana in a cigarette or in a water pipe.

All street forms of cocaine contain additives which are toxic to the user. The additives include sugars and stimulants which can cause psychosis, seizures, and irritability. Also, poisons are often added that can lead to acute kidney failure. Additives contribute to death associated with crack use.

Presently, crack/cocaine contains a toxic hog de-wormer (Levamisole) which also causes infections. Symptoms include fever and chills, swollen glands, painful sores in your mouth or anus, skin infection with dark skin patches, sore throat, pneumonia,  and other infections.

What is transgender?

Transgender is a term used to describe many groups of people, such as transsexuals, cross-dressers, and transgendered individuals. These groups of people do not match the sex category they were placed into at birth. Transexuals are people who seek to change their sex. Cross-dressers are those who occasionally or frequently dress in the cloths of the opposite sex. In addition, there are those who are identified as transgendered, meaning that their sex and gender do not "fit" in accordance with social norms. 

Transgender refers to how an individual wishes to express himself/herself , regardless of "sex." As a result, gender attribution is disrupted because a person cannot be placed easily into the appropriate sex category. Transgendering frequently results in gender being correctly assigned, but incorrectly categorized. 

Although the gender binary of masculinity and femininity is seen as mutually exclusive, transgendering can highlight the  ways in which these two  genders can be combined in order to produce a gender that is neither one nor the other, but one that falls outside of the gender binary. Some cultures have provided social spaces fors r more than two genders

Transgendering can also disturb our ideas about the relationship of gender and sexuality. To the degree that sexual identity refers to the way which people are categorized as gay or heterosexual according to the sex of their partner, transgendering suggests a person might be attracted to the gender of the individual, not the sex. For example, a herterosexual woman might be attract to the masculinity of a biological female, but one who presented as a socially masculine transgendered individual. The heterosexual woman might not realize the actual sex of the transgendered individual given the assumption that a person who is masculine is male. 

The heterosexual-gay distinction assumes that everyone falls into one category of sexual identity. Transgendering, however, could result in "passing,"  in which a person is seen as having the sex other than that with which they were born. This would result in an recognizable mismatch (between sex and gender), and therefore could be seen as disrupting the link between gender and sexuality. For example, the "butch lesbian" is female but masculine in "her" gender presentation. And, what about "her" sexual identity? Is the butch lesbian desire for feminine women a heterosexual or gay desire?

Conclusion

In our society, sex, gender and sexuality are understood in binary terms. The only sex categories available are male and female, the only gender categories are masculine and feminine, and the sexual categories are chiefly heterosexual and gay. Moreover, it's been assumed that there is a logical order between sex, gender, and sexuality. For example, a normal female will become a woman whose femininity will express itself in a heterosexual identity. Most Canadians and Americans understand these binaries and this logical order as natural. The recent visibility of transgendered individuals challenges the presumed naturalness of these binaries. Transgendering allows for varied relationships between sex, gender, and sexuality. It challenges the binaries and a presumed natural order between sex, gender and sexuality. 

This is why transgendered individuals face hostility and many challenges in their daily lives.

In the face of this hostility and challenges, transgendered individuals have rallied around a gender identity movement. 

The queer movement, women's movement, men's movement , and transgendered movement need to work together in order to ensure freedom and protection for all.

 For understanding why and what we are see;http://drlarryfalls.blogspot.ca/2014/07/the-biology-of-gender.html

The difference between Type 1 and Type 2 Diabetes

Type 1 Diabetes

Type 1 Diabetes used to be called "juvenile" diabetes because most people were diagnosed with this condition as children. It was also known as "insulin -dependent diabetes.mellitus."  It has since been learned that type 1 diabetes is mostly diagnosed before the age  of 30 years.

Type 1 diabetes occurs when the body's pancreas does not produce insulin, which leads to glucose (sugar) building up in the blood, instead of being used by the body for energy.

The exact cause of type 1 diabetes is not known. It may have to do with the body's immune system sending signals to attack the insulin-producing.  cells in the pancreas, or it may be .related to genetics or environmental factors, or combination of both.

Type 1 diabetes is not caused by eating too much sugar. A family history of type 1 diabetes can put you at a slightly higher risk but there are no risk factors that can be changed.Base on current trends of type 1 diabetes, it is thought that the majority of new cases of diabetes in coming years will be type 2 diabetes , rather that type 1. The number of people being diagnosed with type 1 diabetes is rising by about 3 - 5% per year. The age group with the greatest increase is five-to-nine-year-olds. 

Some of the subtle and more common symptoms include:
* Extreme thirst
* Frequent urination
* Feeling very tired
* Constant hunger
* Blurry visiont to 
* Weight loss

Type 1 diabetes can also appear quickly and without warning. If you notice any of these symptoms, it is important that  you seek medical advice as soon as possible. If you have noticed any of the listed symptoms ,you may want to consider seeing your doctor to be tested.

Type 2 Diabetes

Type 2 diabetes is a health condition where your blood sugar level is above what is considered "normal." The body's pancreas makes insulin to break down food nutrients to be used by the body's cells and tissues. However, in people with type 2 diabetes, insulin is not being used properly by your body. This leads to increased sugar (glucose) which builds up in your blood. 

Some common symptoms of type 2 diabetes include:
* Extreme thirst
* Frequent urination
* Unexplained weight loss
* Feeling tired
* Wounds that take a long time to heal
* Extreme hunger
* Frequent infections
* Sudden changes in vision
* Tingling or numbness in your hands and feet

Known risk factors include:
* Family history of diabetes
* Being over age 40
* Being overweight  (especially if the excessive weight is around your mid-section).
* Smoking
* A previous diagnosis of "gestational diabetes" (diabetes while pregnant)
* Being diagnosed with the "metabolic syndrome," "impaired glucose tolerance," or "impaired fasting glucose."  These three conditions are considered to be indicators of pre-diabetes.

Although there is evidence  that diabetes can be prevented before it develops ( by making changes in your diet and increasing your level of physical activity), there is currently no cure for type 2 diabetes.
  

What you should know about Syphilis

Syphilis has not gone away, and in some places it is on the rise. During the 16^th and 17^th centuries, there was a rebirth of humanism and the arts which engulfed Europe. It was accompanied by a loosening of sexual restrictions which had previously been observed.  The Protestant Reformation, led by Martin Luther, John Calvin, and others, generally advocated less negative attitudes toward sexual matters than the Catholic Church did. For example, although Luther was hardly liberal in his sexual attitudes, he thought that sex was not inherently sinful and that chastity and celibacy were not signs of virtue. At the same time, Europe was caught in a massive epidemic of syphilis – which might have worked to limit sexual freedom.

Syphilis is a spiral-shaped microorganism, Treponema pallidum, discovered in 1905. 

This photomicrograph of Treponema pallidum bacteria was taken from a tissue section. From Hardin Library for the Health Sciences, University of Iowa.

Syphilis is usually transmitted by sexual contacts, but it can also be acquired from blood transfusion or transmitted from a pregnant mother to the fetus.

The earliest sign of syphilis in its primary stage is a sore called a chancre (pronounced “shanker”). The chancre generally appears two to four weeks after infection. The most common locations for the chancre in 75 percent of cases, are the genitals and anus, but it can also develop on the lips, in the mouth, on a finger, on a breast, or on any part of the body where the bacteria can enter the skin.  The chancre begins as a dull-red spot which develops into a pimple. The pimple ulcerates, forming a round or oval sore usually surrounded by a red rim. The chancre usually heals within four to six weeks, leading to the erroneous belief that the “problem” went away.

                                                Primary stage chancre

Secondary syphilis is rare because it is mostly prevented by early medical intervention.  The second stage without treatment, begins anywhere from one week to six months after the chancre heals. The symptoms include a pale red or pinkish rash often found on the palms and soles, fever, sore throat, headaches, joint pains, poor appetite, weight loss, and hair loss. Moist sores called condyloma lata may appear around the genitals or anus and are highly infectious. The symptoms of this secondary stage of syphilis usually last three to six months but can come and go periodically. After all the symptoms disappear, the disease passes into a latent stage. At this stage the disease is no longer contagious, but the infecting microorganisms burrow their way into various tissues, such as the brain, spinal cord, blood vessels, and bones. Fifty to 70 percent of people with untreated syphilis stay in this stage for the rest of their lives. The remainder, pass on to the late syphilis stage.  It involves serious heart problems, eye problems, and brain or spinal cord damage. These complications can cause paralysis, insanity, blindness, and death.

Syphilis is usually diagnosed by a blood test. Although tests are not completely fool-proof in detecting the primary stage of syphilis, secondary syphilis can be diagnosed with 100 percent accuracy. Diagnosis also depends on a carefully performed physical examination looking for signs of primary or secondary syphilis. Chancre sores can be observed on male sex organs, and chancres of the cervix or vagina may be detected only by a pelvic examination. Examination of the fluid taken from a chancre under a special microscope will usually show the characteristic spiral-shaped organism.

Syphilis can easily be treated with one injection in its primary and secondary stages. Later stages of syphilis require treatment over a longer period of time, but the treatment is usually successful.

Persons who have been sexually exposed to someone with proven early syphilis should promptly seek medical help.

Islam, women and the radicles

This article is taken from a thesis written by a Muslim woman who grew up living in Afghanistan.

There is a difference between the dogma taught by the Muslim extremist groups and the teachings by the Prophet Mohammad. Fourteen hundred years ago, Mohammad permitted women to be politically active, to work and mix with men, and they were not required to veil their faces.

As Islamic extremism gained strength throughout the Muslim world, rigid patriarchal religious leaders emphasized Koranic passages removing its clear command giving women equality, justice, and education. For political ends, the Prophet’s intent regarding women is both altered and inappropriately applied. His sympathy for women’s rights is often no longer reflected in the law and practices of modern government.

Because Muslim women are the first to be affected by such changes, their freedoms, or lack thereof, have become a key indicator of the political direction in which such states are moving.

Muslim women who work in the Gulf and Middle Eastern countries often enjoy job benefits and equality more than most women in the western world. Since the 1970s in Iraq for example, a woman’s employment benefits are extensive and include free child care while she is working, and has the right to retire with a full pension after fifteen years of employment.  In virtually all Arab countries, maternity leave with full pay is substantially longer than in the United States and Canada.

Dichotomously, the majority of Muslim women still find their lives controlled by their closest male relatives. They are the daughters whose future marriage partners continue to be determined by their fathers. They are the brides who must be virgins on their wedding nights in a culture where if they are not, honor killings are common and often carried out by the girl’s own brothers.  To guard against this in many cases in the Muslim world, a simple surgical procedure –hymen restoration is performed. Fratricide (kill your own sister) can occur when a young woman refuses to marry a man of her family’s choice. Despite the fact that Islam states that a woman has a right to refuse a husband selected for her. In reality, familial pressures can be so strong; they may result in her death if she refuses.

Bride-price in Muslim countries confirms that a woman is a man’s property. Once married, every aspect of a woman’s life will be dictated by her husband. What she does, who her friends are, where she is permitted to go, how her children are raised, and even whether she may use birth control or be sterilized.  She cannot obtain a passport or travel abroad without his written approval.

If his spouse is not obedient, her husband may take another wife. Husbands are entitled to have four wives. According to Koranic dictates, should a man decide to marry again, he is supposed to obtain his first wife’s permission. He is also required to treat each wife exactly the same, in affection, time spent together, material possessions, and status. In practice, if his first wife doesn’t agree, he gets married anyway. And invariably he favors the newer and younger spouse.

According to the newer version of the Koran published Everyman, “Men are superior to women…”  The Koran 4:34 in most Muslim countries state;

As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and

ill-conduct, first admonish them, then refuse to share

their bed, and last beat them, but then if they return

to obedience, do not seek a way against them.

Radical Islam is not a religious organization. It is a bunch of ruthless criminals with twisted beliefs;

Hindu: The Sacred Syllable Om, Yoga, and Tantra

The word om is recited at the beginning and end of all Hindu and Jain prayers, as well as  used by Buddhists, and recitations of scripture. The word is understood to have three sounds, a-u-m; when the diphthong of a and u is shortened, it yields the sound of o. The sound of the word begins deep within the body and ends at the lips; it is claimed to be auspicious. The history in the Hindu tradition is ancient; the Mandukya Upanisad discusses its meaning and power. Hindu philosophers and sectarian communities all agree that om is the most sacred sound.

However, almost every Hindu community have different speculations about the meaning of om. Some say it represents the supreme reality or Brahman. Many Hindu philosophers believed that this word was at the beginning of the manifest universe and contains the true knowledge. Others say that its three sounds represent the three worlds: earth, atmosphere, and heaven. Still, others say it represents the essence of the three Vedas: Rg, Yajur, and Sama. A few Hindu philosophers derive the word from the Sanskrit verbal root av-, to mean 'that which protects'.

According to the followers of the philosopher Sankara, who are non-dualist interpreters of the Vedanta, suggest the three sounds a,u,m have the following experiential meanings.

* The sound of a stands for the world that we see when we are awake, the person who is experiencing it, and the waking experience.
* U stands for the dream world, the dreamer, and the dream experience.
* M represents the sleep world, the sleeper and the sleep experience.
* These three states we experience on this earth. The fourth, the unspoken syllable, represents the state of liberation.

On the other hand, some Vaisnava devotees say that a represents the lord Visnu, u denotes the human being, and the meaning of m is the relationship between the two. Other Vaisnavas say that they represent Visnu, Sri, and the devotee.

Accordingly, Hindus say that om is the most sacred sound but disagree regarding its meaning. Nevertheless, the sound of om among all Hindu traditions is greater than the sum of its parts, exceeding in significance the many meanings attributed to it. 

Yoga

Yoga entails physical and mental discipline by which one 'yokes' one's spirit to a god. It has been held in high regard in many Hindu texts and has had many meanings in the Hindu tradition. Some scholars point out that seals from the Harappan culture 2600 BC - 1900 BC (today is Northeast Afghanistan to Pakistan and Northeast India) portray a man sitting in a yogic position.

Yoga was an important feature of religious life in India several centuries before the texts were written sometime between 100 BC and 200 AD.

According to Patanjali who codified and presented an accurate version which had already been known suggests, Yoga involves moral, mental, physical discipline and meditation concentrating on a physical or mental object as a 'single point' of focus. This form of yoga is described as having eight 'limbs' or disciplines, of which the first two are yama, consisting of restraints, and niyama,consisting of positive practices.

Yama is the avoidance of violence, falsehood, stealing, sexual activity, and great desire.Interestingly, these prohibitions are included in the 'right conduct' taught by the Jain tradition ( a religion of India founded in the 6th century B.C., it emphasizes asceticism, nonviolence, and reverence for all living things).

Niyama includes cleanliness, equanimity, asceticism, the theoretical study of yoga, and the effort to make God the focus of one's activities. Cleanliness includes internal and external purity; in some forms of yoga, this aspect receives considerable attention.  

Although the theoretical aspects of Patanjali's yoga have had considerable importance in particular times and traditions, its place in the religious life of Hindus in the past 1,000 to 2,000 years has not enjoyed mass popularity over the years, nor has it been mentioned as a path to liberation by many of the religious teachers. 

In the 20th century there was a resurgence of interest in its physical techniques, that only sometimes extends to the underlying psychological and theoretical assumptions of yoga.

In the past century a distinction between two avenues of discipline has been drawn in the use of the terms raja yoga and hatha yoga. Raja yoga deals with mental discipline;occasionally this term is used interchangeably with Patanjali's yoga. Hatha yoga is concerned largely with bodily posture and control over the body. The term hatha is said to be derived from the words for sun (ha) and moon (that), referring to particular patterns of breath control. The human body is said to have 'suns' and 'moons' within it; final liberation can be attained only after different centres in the body are brought into harmony with the cosmos. This form of yoga is what has become popular in western countries.

Tantra

The tantric tradition advocated its own form of yoga, known as kundalini yoga. Kundalini (literally, 'the one with earrings') refers to the sakti or power of the Goddess, which is said to lie coiled like a serpent at the base of one's spine. When awakened, this power rises through the channel passing though six cakras or 'wheels' to reach the final centre located under the skull. This centre is known as a thousand-petalled lotus.  

The ultimate aim of this form of yoga is to awaken the power of the kundalini and make it unite with Purusa, the male supreme being, who is the thousand-petalled lotus. With this union, the practitioner is granted several visions and given psychic powers. The union leads eventually to final emancipation. 

There are many ways of looking at tantric materials. The best-known division is between the vamacara (left-handed practice) and the right-handed or more conservative school. As the left hand is associated with the inauspicious in the Hindu tradition, 'left-handed' was applied to sectarian movements that did not meet with the approval of the other larger or more established schools. The practices of the left-handed schools' involved ritual performance of activities forbidden in everyday life, such as drinking liquor, eating fish and meat, and having sexual intercourse with a partner not one's spouse. These activities were disapproved of in many other Hindu circles, so that to a large extent left-handed tantrism remained esoteric. 

One may also see divisions in tantra along the sectarian lines of Saiva, Sakia, and Vaisnava, each with its own canon of texts called tantras. 

The texts may also be classified into those intended for temple worship and those that are about individual rites at home. 

Common myths about rape

The most destructive myths about rape have cast women in the role of being responsible for the rapist’s act. According to this view, women secretly “want” to be raped and really enjoy the experience.  This nonsensical notion has led at least one rapist to give his name and phone number to his victim so she could “get together” with him again. His stupidity led to his immediate arrest. Lurking beneath the surface of this myth are some commonly held misconceptions: women find overpowering men irresistible; women’s rape fantasies indicated a real-life sexual desire; and women dress and act provocatively to “turn on” men, who somehow are the hapless victims of their own reactions to this deliberate provocation.

Closely allied to this view of the woman as instigator is the idea that “she was asking for it, and she got what she deserved. “ According to Susan Brownmiller, a feminist journalist and author of a book Against Our Will, offers an explanation of rape:

The popularity of the belief that a woman seduces or “c--k-teases” a man into rape by incautious behavior, is part of the smoke screen that men throw up to obscure their actions. The insecurity of women runs so deep that many, possibly most, rape victims agonize afterward in an effort to uncover what it was in their behavior, their manner, their dress that triggered this awful act against them.

 Most research shows that rapists look for targets they see as vulnerable (e.g. women walking by themselves, appear unfamiliar with where they are) rather than women who are dressed in a certain way or who have a particular manner of appearance.  The “provocation myth loses its credibility when it is recognized that many rape victims are elderly women or young children. Furthermore, it is a little like believing people should dress in old, worn-out cloths in order to prevent having your purse being snatched, thus misplacing responsibility from the criminal to the victim.

Rape Patterns

Forcible rape is the most common form of rape reported. Here, the act of penile penetration is achieved by force or the threat of force. Several subcategories of forcible rape can be distinguished, although most of these are not legally defined terms. 

Date and Acquaintance Rape

A survey of acquaintance rape at 32 different colleges showed that one out of ten women had been raped in the previous year, and one in six had been the victim of an attempted rape. Fifty-seven percent of the actual rapes occurred on dates, and in 84 percent of the cases, the victims knew their assailant. Other studies suggest that women are four times more likely to be raped by someone they know than by a stranger.

Men who commit rape

There has not been much research on men who commit date rape. Some seem to be driven by a traditional view of the male’s role as sexual aggressor, which leads them to misinterpret cues (even direct, verbal statements) from the woman. Others are simply intent on “scoring,” believing that male-female relations are a sort of game and that the woman “owes” them sex.

Male attitudes about women and rape are slowly changing to a more understanding nature, but there are still some men who see women as sex objects. Much more education is needed to understand sexual rights and the impact rape has on the individual.      

Suicide Warning Signs

Individual motives for suicide vary and not all victims use the same approach for ending their life. However, there are some common warning signs.

Suicides seldom occur without warning. If you are aware of common signs and of changes in behavior, you can recognize and better help a person in crisis. These signs represent behaviours that can serve as a warning sign. The warning signs are usually physical, emotional, and behavioral in nature:

*Neglect of personal appearance

*Sudden changes in manner of dress, especially when the new style is completely out of character

*Chronic or unexplained illness aches and pains.

*Sudden weight gain or loss.

*Sudden change in appetite.

Emotional clues

*Sense of hopelessness, helplessness, or futility.

*Inability to enjoy or appreciate friendships.

*Wide mood changes and sudden outbursts.

*Anxiousness, extreme tension and agitation.

*Lethargy or tiredness.

*Changes in personality, from outgoing to withdrawn, from polite to rude, from complaint to rebellious, from well behaved to “acting out.”

*Loss of the ability to concentrate, daydreaming.

*Depression, sadness.

*Loss of rational thought

*Feelings of guilt and failure.

*Self-destructive thoughts

*Exaggerated fears of cancer, AIDS, or physical impairment

*Feelings of worthlessness or of being a burden

*Loss of enjoyment from activities formerly enjoyed

Behavioral Signs

*Decreased school activity, isolation. Sudden drop in achievement and interest in school subjects

*Loss of interest in hobbies, or sports, work, etc.

*Unexplained use of alcohol or other drugs

*Withdrawal from family and former friends, sometimes acting in a manner which forces others away

*Changing in eating and/or sleeping habits.

*Changes in friendship

*Running away from home, “skipping school.”

*Accident proneness and increase in risk-taking behavior such as careless driving, bike accidents, dangerous use of firearms.

*Sexual promiscuity

*Giving away prized possessions (e.g. CD collection).

*Preoccupation with thoughts of death.

*Sudden changes in personality

*Making a will, writing poetry or stories about suicide or death

*Quietly rutting affairs in order, “taking care of business.”

*Threatening suicide.

*Hoarding pills, hiding weapons, describing methods for committing suicide.

*Previous suicide attempts.

While all of these signs may indicate that a person is experiencing problems, the last five behavioral signs are especially significant because these signs indicate that a decision to complete suicide may have been made. A previous attempt is a particularly important sign. Such an attempt increases the risk of future ones. In any of the signs the key word is CHANGE.

The symptoms of depression, including the list of “acting out” behaviors and the common warning signs for suicide are very similar. Together they provide ways to recognize a person at risk.   

Depression in children and teens

Depression is a mood disorder that can take the joy from a child’s life. It is normal for a child to be moody or sad from time to time. These feelings are expected after the death of pet or a move to a new city. But if these feelings last for weeks or months, they may be a sign of depression which requires professional help.

A common belief was that only adults could get depression. There is evidence that show even a young child can have depression that needs treatment to improve. According to the latest information on WebMD, as many as 2 out of 100 young children and 8 out of 100 teens have serious depression.

Nevertheless, children don’t get the treatment they need.  This is partly because it can be difficult to tell the difference between depression and normal moodiness. Also, depression may not look the same in a child as in an adult.  

You can learn more about the symptoms in children if you talk to your child. Ask how he or she is feeling. If you think your child is depressed, talk to your doctor or counselor. The sooner a child gets help, the sooner he or she will feel better.

A sign of depression in a child includes;

- feeling irritable, sad, withdrawn, or bored most of the time

-Does not take pleasure in things he or she used to enjoy

A child who is depressed may also ;

-Lose or gain weight

-Sleep too much or too little

-Feel hopeless, worthless, or guilty

-Have trouble concentrating, thinking, or making decisions

-Think about death or suicide a lot.

The symptoms are often overlooked at first because the problems and the symptoms are all part of the same problem. Also, the symptoms may be different depending on the age of the child.

Both pre-school and grade school children may lack energy and become withdrawn. They may show little emotion, seem to feel hopeless, and have trouble sleeping. Often they will lose interest in friends and activities they liked before. They may comp-lain of headaches or stomach aches. A child may also be more anxious or clingy with caregivers.

Teens may sleep a lot or speak more slowly than usual. Some teens and children with severe depression may see or hear things that aren't there or have false beliefs.

Depression can range from mild to severe. A child who feels a little “down”  most of the time for a year or more may have a milder ongoing form of depression called dysthymia. In its most severe form depression can cause a child to lose hope and want to die.

What parents need to know about pediatric depression

Depression is a real illness that affects both adults and children. It can affect kids as young as 3 years old. It can even affect babies who tend to exhibit symptoms such as unresponsiveness, lethargy, inconsolable crying and feeding problems (Deborah Serani, PsyD).

Developmental mile stones 1 – 3 months

Every child is different, and so is every parent’s experience, but experts have a clear idea about the range of development from birth to age 5 – and signs that a child might have a developmental delay.

Milestones at one month

-         *Makes jerky, quivering arm thrusts

-         *Brings hands within  range of eyes and mouth

-         *Moves head from side to side while lying on stomach

-         *Head flops backward if unsupported

-         *Keeps hands in tight fists

-         *Strong reflex movements

Visual and Hearing Milestones

-         *Focuses 8 to 12 inches (20.3 to 30.4 cm) away

-         *Eyes wonder and occasionally cross

-        * Prefers black and white or high-contrast patterns

-         *Prefers the human face to all other patterns

-        * Hearing is fully mature

-         *Recognize some sounds

-        * May turn toward familiar sounds and voices

Smell and Touch Milestones

-         *Prefers sweet smells

-         *Avoid bitter or acidic smells

-         *Recognizes the smell of his own mother’s breast milk

-        * Prefers soft to coarse sensations

-         *Dislike rough or abrupt handling

Developmental Health Watch

If during the second, third or fourth weeks of your baby’s life there are are signs of developmental delays, notify your pediatrician.

-        * Sucks poorly and feeds slowly

-         *Doesn't blink when shown a bright light

-        * Doesn't focus and follow a nearby object moving side to side

-        * Rarely moves arms and legs, seems stiff

-         *Seems excessively loose in the limbs, or floppy

-        * Lower jaw trembles constantly, even when not crying or excited

-         *Doesn't respond to loud sounds

Milestones at 3 months

Movement Milestones

-         Raises head and chest when lying on stomach

-         Supports upper body with arms when lying on stomach

-         Stretches legs out and kicks when lying on stomach or back

-         Opens and shuts hands

-         Pushes down on legs when feet are placed on a firm surface

-         Brings hand to mouth

-         Takes swipes at dangling objects with hands

-         Grasps and shakes hand toys

Visual and Hearing Milestones

-         Watches faces intently

-         Follows moving objects

-         Recognizes familiar objects and people at a distance

-         Starts using hands and eyes in coordination

-         Smiles at the sound of your voice

-         Begins to babble

-         Begins to initiate some sounds

-         Turns head toward direction of sound

Social and Emotional Milestones

-         Begins to develop a social smile

-         Enjoys playing with other people and may cry when playing stops

-         Becomes more communicative and expressive with face and body

-         Initiates some movements and facial expressions

Developmental Health Watch

Although each baby develops in his/her own individual rate, failure to reach certain milestones may signal medical or developmental problems requiring special attention. If you notice any of the following warning signs in your infant at this age, discuss them with your pediatrician.

-         *Doesn't seem to respond to loud sounds

-         *Doesn't notice his/her hands by 2 months

-         *Doesn't smile at the sound of your voice by two months

-         *Doesn't follow moving objects with his/her eyes after two or three months

-         *Doesn't grasp and hold objects by three months

-         *Doesn't smile at people by three months

-         Cannot support his/her head well at three months

-         *Doesn't reach for and grasp toys by three or four months

-         *Doesn't babble by three or four months

-         *Doesn't bring objects to his/her mouth by four months

-         *Begins babbling, but doesn't try to imitate any of your sounds by four months

-         *Has trouble moving one or both eyes in all directions

-        * Crosses his/her eyes most of the time (occasional crossing of the eyes is normal in these first months)

-         *Doesn't pay attention to new faces, or seemed very frightened by new faces or surroundings